This is your heart............Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

"This is your racing heart, it pumps through your veins can you feel it? can you feel it?"

Do you ever really know someone?

This is a question that I cannot help but over think lately. Life is just that life, in among-st it there are people. People make life, those who we could not live a second without, those we very easily can and those who come make an impression and soon leave, these could be lovers, friends or simple passer by's.

I have loved and lost, everyone has right?

I have never known pain like it, loosing my grandmother, loosing my fiance of five years, loosing my best friend. It all happened in that order. My grandmother I had no control over, terminal illness is the cruelest thing. My fiance I had every control over, not over the pain he would cause me or the years of loosing myself to become someone's perfect ideal. My best friend I don't know what happened but its happened and been happening for a while now.

There is nothing that you can do, fight for it only to give it some stability for a little longer, give up altogether and suffer the "fool" feeling or be honest with the situation. My honesty is at times brutal, that is how I have been brought up no truth can ever be as bad as a lie, I live my life for what its worth this way. I have recently been told my honesty isn't a good trait I still cannot comprehend this.

I hate liars, I hate people that I know as walking jellyfish those with no spines, maybe this is why these relationships in which I had control over didn't work, maybe its my overpowering nature or need to be so incredibly honest and in all best intentions protect those who I love. 

These past few weeks have felt empty. Everything has taken so much effort the little things such as getting out of bed, facing the day, even talking have felt like mountains to climb. I don't feel I have what it takes to climb mountains at the minute.

All I have ever done is be myself, people move on, grow up, CHANGE, leave themselves behind in search of something else.

My ex fiance still wears his engagement ring, despite the fact our relationship truly ended a long time ago. My best friend has began a life with people surrounding her that will never truly care and my grandmother, she is still here, from that I have hope. For that I will stay the person I am, honest.

How am I going to be an optimist about this?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F90Cw4l-8NY

Maybe I got last in translation, maybe I asked for too much.

Time to take a minute and just look this is the life you've created. Take a breath. Be proud just for a minute.

Turning 21 in three weeks terrifies me. I never wanted to grow up. I didn't want the family of my own, nor my own home and all of the responsibilities that came with it all. For most of it I didn't even want to get married. I didn't want to be anyone's just happily myself. I had dreams of travelling the world seeing all of the things that before those moments I had only ever heard of. I wanted a life of adventure and culture. To become a part of something and then leave just as quickly as I started and move on to the next world. My life hasn't turned out so Family Swiss Robinson.

In these 21 years I have made friends some that I shall keep for the rest of these years to come, some who I would happily forget. I have fallen in love with too many celebrities, covered my room in posters dedicated to Jared Leto. I have fallen in love with real people too, some I could regret, but luckily I never regret anything life isn't about that. However its taught me never to be reckless with people's hearts it will only make them reckless with mine, this I have learnt all too well. I have made the most fantastic memories and built the most treasured relationship with my mum, without her I wouldn't be a fraction of the person I am today. I have travelled, abroad and in this very country in a little caravan with my grandparents staring out of the window wondering where we were off to next.

I have made fortresses out of pillows and chair cushions. I have fought dragons and befriended all kind of creatures in the stories I have read, heard and created myself. I have taken many photo's some I still laugh at and some that make me cry. I have acted like an idiot most of these 21 years, in the rare moments I have got my shit together and acted half like the adult I am turning into. 

I have headed certain advice, such as "One day you'll know you deserve better, until then keep being yourself" and ignored other advice such as "Don't dye your hair black the colour will change yours forever" all I have to say to that is "Sorry mum you were right" and "Sorry about the years of wrecking the carpet, and the years to come of me wrecking it some more".

I have tried and succeeded and like everybody tried and failed, for example today my 17 year old brother passed his driving test and is driving his brand new Audi round, I have failed mine three times and my Peugeot 106 is still sat in my yard growing moss and its own plants!! You keep going though. 

I have met people that have inspired me to keep going and others that I have come across who have made me want to lie down and give up. These are the ones I am throwing away just like every letter I have from my bank! I have danced like a fool (that's the only way I know how too) alone and in the company of people that I couldn't ever imagine being without.

I have a best friend who makes my day without even trying, she understands me more than a person could and even the days when I think "Hurry up Em we are four hours late" or "Nevermind then we've missed the film" I love her and her family they really are like another part of my family and I wouldn't change this for the world.

I have a boyfriend who could make the sternest person laugh out loud, he is hilarious. He makes me a better person and I didn't think that could happen from meeting a stranger in an ice cream shop. His family make me realise even further just how he became so amazing. They are as a family everything I would like when creating my own. There is being in love and then there is this. No point in writing any more really as a writer he makes me speechless. 

I have stayed up far too late, rushed to work as if its a new olympic sport and been pretty useless. I have walked out of jobs as easily as I have luckily walked into them and at the age of 21 I am currently on my tenth job. Its hard working the  9-5 when your dreams do not fit into this. I will write, somewhere, one day.

I have put "holes" in my body as everyone tells me, I have an unhealthy addiction to piercings, and am trying to not have any more much to everyone's relief. I have loved and lost, loosing my grandmother is the hardest thing I have ever gone through but through this it has taught me about inner strength and that includes having days when even the smallest of things makes you burst into tears and you still aren't exactly sure as to why. It made me see my mum for the person that she truly is and this only makes me proud to be a part of this amazing woman.

Learning more and more about my mum as I got older has been one of the most amazing things, Doing what she has done single handedly is just mind blowing and I hope I can be just as she has been when I become a mum. Her inner strength yet ability to show such vulnerability bowls me over. Her honesty has been instilled in me as a woman and her knowledge (definitely about hair dying) makes me better everyday. I owe everything that I am and ever will be to my mum.

I look back on these two decades and a sparkly little year and think "Ohmydays" Time really has flown even on the days when it really felt like it couldn't have gone any slower! I am so very lucky to have the people that I do in my life, I would say blessed however in these past 21 years a love of God has never found its way into this heart of mine. I am truly overwhelmed by just what I have and what I have achieved. Life isn't measured by how much money you have in the bank and if it was then mine would certainly look pretty hopeless right now, but how many people you have around you and the memories that become your treasured possessions. I have too many of these and for this I may as well be the richest wannabe writer there ever was. 

I love everyone who has made these 21 years be it good or bad, its been an experience and surely that's what its all about?

Here's to the next 21.

You told me about your past thinking your future was me.

Here we are again in the middle of the night, I remember it all too well.

"So casually cruel in the name of being honest" - Taylor Swift.

 

 

They say that love finds you in the most unlikely places. That's what happened with me. I was lost in every way that a person could be until an ordinary customer who has an extraordinary ability to make me smile changed eveything I believed in. Its hard to love someone, really, honestly love someone because the what ifs suddenly become the most powerful two words in any kind of dictionary. You worry about little things that hadn't previously crossed your mind and you live a life that is completely controlled by someone else's emotions. If they are happy your both on top of this world, but if they are down then you may as well crawl back under that duvet of yours and hide.

My boyfriend is leaving, maybe, hopefully. To follow his dreams and become the best PE teacher possible. Where he is going doesn't matter, nor does the distance even if some days he might as well live on the moon. What does matter is that we are going to do this, we will squash the 'long distance relationship' rumours and make it work. Why? Because some things in life are worth the bare knuckle fight of it all. They are worth the aches from holding on so tightly.

He was that person that came into my life and saved me from everything. That statement alone proves why distance should never matter, my heart stays in my chest and that's where he shall be.

 

Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

No matter what we set out to do when we leave our homes there will always be obstacles in our way. Some days these may as well be mountains making it impossible to carry on our pathway. So what should we do? I am not superhuman despite wishing I was every day, this means I don't always look at things positively I do not have the ability to think of myself as anything but your everyday average human being. I don't want to have to climb over everything to do the most simplest of things. So instead I look at the bigger picture. I have to push my way through these things be them big or small if I am ever going to get to where I am so determined too. I am a waitress. It's a good enough job, I work with good people (the majority that is) and the pay is horrendous but life shouldn't be measured on this. I am a waitress because it funds my one dream of becoming a successful journalist and later in life a well loved writer.

This means that even on the days when I simply want to go around these things, that superhuman ability that I haven't got comes over me and allows me to go forward knowing you have to go through these days if your ever going to appreciate the ones to come.

Carmarthen Journal Articles - Miss Saigon

THIS week I went to see Miss Saigon the school edition, performed by the wonderful Carmarthen Youth Opera. It had promised to be a spectacular piece of theatre and it certainly did not disappoint its large opening night audience. Miss Saigon opens on a Friday night in Saigon April 1975, and tells the dramatic tale of a doomed love between an American marine and an orphaned Vietnamese girl who has no other chance in life but to work as a bar girl in the ironically named "Dreamland" ran by the money orientated Engineer played by the comically genius Gavyn Brewster who throughout kept the audience laughing. Upon her first night of working Kim (Miss Saigon) played by the mind blowing Megan Thomas (I really predict great things for her) falls in love with Chris played by the multi talented Cuan Rowlands who is in Saigon working as a marine. They suffer a whirl wind romance and soon find themselves separated and the promises made are all they have to cling on too. After three long years apart Saigon has been taken over by the Viet Cong and Kim is living in hiding. Across the Atlantic Chris has moved on and is now married to Ellen (Sioned-Mair Rees) Their stories couldn't be any more different. We now meet Thuy (Brandon Jones) Kim's cousin who since the age of thirteen has been bound to marry her. Kim stands her ground stating her love for her American husband and revealing out of this love their son Tam was born. In horror Thuy threatens to kill her only child and with this Kim too pulls out her gun. The Lyric sat in silence as if everyone held their breath for that little bit longer and in this silence Kim shoots him, he lays motionless as the curtain on Act one falls.

A roar of applause is all that can be heard and then the hustle and bustle continues, everyone has something highly complimentary to say on such a captivating performance created by an incredibly young cast with one member being just eleven months old!

The second half continues and I have already been warned to get my tissues out. We start at a conference in Atlanta John a fellow American marine and Chris's best friend now works for the Bui Doi children and whilst dong so learns that Kim and son Tam have found their way into Bangkok. John played by the outstanding Robert Parker convinces Chris and Ellen to go together to the city and face this situation. Whilst their its clear to see this won't be an easy task. Upon hearing the news Kim is overwhelmed and sets off to find her husband, however all she does find is his new wife Ellen. The story unravels further and only ends in heartbreak as Kim comes to the realisation for her son to have the life she craves for him she must be left behind. I look around the theatre and all I see are mouths agape and tears streaming down the audience's faces. The perfect atmosphere is set by the unbelievable Orchestra directed by true talent Gareth Kirby, and then silence, followed by a single gun shot. As the lights fade so does Kim's life as she is cradled by her one true love Chris, and with that more than powerful final scene the curtain falls.

There is so much that I can say about this performance. Too much in fact! The dedication of a cast all under the age of 19 is incredible and is what really made this a stand out piece of theatre, that amount of talented individuals all in one room could only make a truly memorable evening of entertainment. The whole thing was faultless. The set was mind blowing the use of a Chinook helicopter landing and taking off really has to be seen to be believed. The thought that has gone into this whole production really is fantastic; the music, costume, set design and the amount of on stage changes of such elaborate sets was more than impressive. Carmarthen Youth Opera once again have produce spell binding work and created a performance that they should be more than proud of. I definitely see the bright lights of the West End shining down on a lot of these performers who are only just getting started.

Carmarthen Journal Articles - Life of PI

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THIS week I went to see Life of PI. Directed by Ang Lee (Brokeback Mountain) and based upon Yann Martel's booker prize winning novel (2001) Life of PI was set to be a beautifully written and directed piece of cinematic genius. It tells the story of how Piscine Patel otherwise known as PI finds him self stranded in the middle of the pacific ocean, after his family's ship gets destroyed in a horrific storm whilst they uproot their lives from India to Canada equipped with their famous zoo. The story becomes one of survival and with PI's only companion being that of ferocious bengal tiger, comically named Richard Parker, it soon becomes compelling viewing.

They encounter many marvels whilst out at sea, a sky full of flying fish, an ocean brought to life with the lights of a million jellyfish, and a carnivorous island housing more meerkats than you could ever believe possible. All of these portent scenes are brought to the screen with such dreamlike intensity, it felt as if you were taken into this world that had been created. This really is Ang Lee at his best, he brings a seemingly unfulfilling story and turns it into a magnificent piece of cinema. The effects used to create the mesmerising adult tiger had me in awe throughout, as did the relationship built between PI and the ravenous creature, he had once been so terrified of.

However the story did not leave me believing in God as it had promised. Instead it simply proved how resilient we are as humans, and through such overwhelming tragedy, hope can be found in the most unlikely of situations, sparking the most profound friendships which can ultimately end up saving your life. There isn't much to criticise when it comes to the Life of PI however I did feel some of the scenes were a little brutal for the PG certificate and I couldn't help but think if I was sat there crying I wasn't sure how some children would react, and through this personally some of the bewitching appeal was lost.

Together Ang Lee and screenplay writer David Magee created a fantastically written visionary masterpiece that would certainly be worthy of winning film of the year 2012. Lee has set himself as being a director who can take on any challenge at a height not many could reach. The only way to see this film is in its 3D glory, this really is a film to feel a part of. Upon leaving I could not help but remember this one qoute “You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.” I think we can all learn something from this truly spectacular film.

Carmathen Journal Articles - Hope Springs

 21st January I attended the Lyric's monthly film club to watch Hope Springs. Ironically given the name, the staff at the Lyric had a lot of hope of their own that the film reel would arrive in time, coming from near Heathrow in the horrible weather we were having it was a close shave and as I walked in I was told "We've no fingernails left as it didn't arrive until late this afternoon" However the "Snow must go on."

It seems lately that Hollywood has become even more fascinated with turning popular self help books into films, and where Hope Springs might not be put into this box, whilst watching it you would struggle to understand why. Directed by David Frankel (Devil wears prada) and written by the talented Vanessa Taylor, Hope Springs tells the story of what happens to a marriage long after the spark has been lost. Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones play hopeless couple Kay and Arnold Soames, whose marriage progressed to the separate bed stage some time ago. Keen to re-energise their relationship, Kay books a week of couples’ therapy on the coast of Maine with Steve Carell acting as their tweedy counsellor, and after thinking she will be going alone Arnold grudgingly accompanies her. On their journey to Maine, Vanessa Taylor's script comes to life and the perceptive little micro-tragedies start flowing thick and fast. Arnold's inability to pay for meals without whinging or his lack of any emotion are details far too sharp to be invented, and through these moments are where we as the audience could relate. This is where Streep and Jones shone it’s not an easy problem to dramatize, but that’s what they did so splendidly depicting an emotionally unavailable husband and a timid wife afraid to speak her mind. Steve Carell did also not disappoint, soulful as ever in his dramatic roles, he does a brilliant job, of facilitating their performances. I can't personally say if Hope Springs is a film that you will like or dislike, it is more of a film that will speak to you in some way. It puts you as almost a fly on the wall, watching two very real people, working through very real problems that I suspect a lot of people who have been married for decades can relate to. David Frankel concentrates on keeping this film low key putting all emphasis on character and honesty. The root of the film is the importance of not giving up on the marriage you believe in. These are two people who are not separated by long distance, conflicting schedules or career paths, but two people who love each other dearly, who are only separated by their failure to communicate with one another.

Hope Springs is a bravely refreshing film, stepping out from the overly crowded romantic comedies we have all become so used too. Funny at times, it really makes an impact on how we see relationships. Its an insightful take on a recessed marriage that is beyond the help of any romantic grand gestures. These may help you get the "happily ever after" you desire, however it takes hard work and communication to sustain maintain this. Hope Springs both comically and beautifully shows us this process. I think we all left the Lyric, with a little spring of hope in our steps.

Carmarthen Journal Articles - Dodgy Review

On Saturday 19th January The Parrot opened its doors to 90's classic band Dodgy and an array of talented support acts Three Wide Smiles and Charlie Bicknell. Stood elbow to elbow with music enthusiasts both younger and older all eagerly anticipating the arrival of the band that sang hit 'Staying out for the Summer' Charlie Bicknell took to the stage first bringing his acoustic sounds to the fore front of a welcoming crowd. Next was Three Wide Smiles a three piece Indie band. Thanking the crowd as this was their first acoustic set list, they continued with self written songs 'Wierdo' to which received much cheering and 'Lost' they continued to please the ever growing audience right through to the end where the expressed their feelings for super market giant Tesco with 'Ten Pounds'. Unleashing toe tapping brilliance their lyrics told stories everyone could relate to and you couldn't help but smile with the energy they created on the small stage behind an almighty crowd.

Everyone was stood for the arrival of Dodgy, and as they stepped on stage to an almighty roar, it was clear there was a re-kindled love for a band who made a name for themselves in the nineties. The rock/pop trio rose to prominence in the Britpop era and being of a younger generation myself I can still sing every lyric to their biggest record 'Good Enough' Opening with 'In a room' taken off the album 'Free Peace Sweet' released in 1996, the crowd were ecstatic. With some Dodgy fanatics travelling from as far as Newport it was clear that they still had what it takes and still looked every inch the relaxed 90's stars they were. Stopping after every few songs to tell a funny story or complain about something they deemed unfair the crowd were constantly engaged, waiting to see what was next from the band they had grown up with. Every song was greeted with a roaring appreciation especially 'Staying out for the Summer' which saw the front of the stage turn into an almost dancey mosh pit with people flinging themselves around the small dance floor. It's hard to say anything negative about the evening. The Parrot displayed the same amount of enthusiasm as they always do when it comes to creating these events. It's what they do and they do it so perfectly. Even though at times it was hard to move as the venue was so small, it only made you feel as though you were a part of something, and only worked in Dodgy's favour with their 'on stage banter' Speaking to their close friend and someone who tours with them he told me

"This is one of their more intimate gigs, but they are just as important as the bigger ones, they will be playing a selection of new songs from the album Stand up in a cool place, and tracks they are currently working in the studio on and of course older songs and its a set list that we were all happy with, it definitely seems to get the crowds going."

It was clear to see that this is not just the usual nostalgia trip of a 90s band reformation that we are constantly seeing of late but a real working band continuing to deliver new material that matches the quality of their glory days. They are all fantastic musicians and lyricists in their own right and this is proven in their overwhelming dedicated fan base which loves them as much today as they did back in the day. Certainly showing Carmarthen that they will always be 'Good enough'

“You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.”

Yann Martel Life of PI.

 

 

Why are we up at 3am on the phone.

When your growing up, you have a million ideas on life. What your going to be when your grown up, that was a Vet for me I was determined I wanted to save the lives of animals but then after my pet rabbit which went by ten different names sadly died, this soon changed. I wanted to be a teacher for children with autism, but then thought children aren't really for me. I then decided a forensic psychologist was the way forward, despite being hemophobic and dreadful at science (as you can see I didn't exactly think this through)
    Amidst wanting to save the world, be a princess for a day and own a few hundred unicorns all different colours  and  chasing alligators in an attempt to make them giant pets, I came to the saddening conclusion that none of these careers would work as some were simply a little too far fetched even for an imagination as vivid as mine! The point I am making is when your young the world is filled with ideas, plans and ways in which we as individuals are going to make ourselves happy.

Its up to us to go and find them. When I was eight, I started writing I used to babble on about anything under the sun, make imaginary stories and sit everyone down and act them out as if they were the next best seller. It made me happy, really happy. Anything that popped into my head was the best idea yet to make a story. I used to create people, families, pets, homes, worlds even and live in them in my room, my handwriting getting more and more frantic as I reached the anticipated conclusion.

I used to carry round a tatty book with me and jot down things, sentences, sometimes even words that I was determined to slot in. Writing gives me this sense of purpose, I am near enough useless at anything else. Maths is my enemy and shall be forever and anything else I barely get by with. I want to change the world with words both good and bad but I want to do it, to make an impact, a lasting impression.


Writing is an act of optimism we wouldn't take the time to do it, if we felt it didn't matter - Edward Albee.

Your doing all of these things out of desperation.

You fake a smile, you say your life's better than it was yesterday.......but it's not.

If we lived in the set of a glossy Hollywood magazine, we would all have amazing jobs (the ones of us that wanted to work) look beautiful every second of every day, do everything that we love and nothing that we like. We would live the lives you only see in the movies. No money worries or the feeling of cold when you lay down to go to sleep after doing a job all day that you have to find the courage to go and do every morning. We would enjoy our lives for what they are. You couldn't avoid, heart break, death, or worry of course these are factors that we cannot live a life without, but they would be made that tiny bit easier without everything else drowning them.

I would love to live everyday as if it were my last, its just I wouldn't spend my last day working a dead end job for people that I swear our some relation to an unruly dictator. I would travel to tallest building in New York climb right up there and just sit. I would be nothing to the world of dazzling lights in front of me, I would just be a person, myself, somebody that has never been hurt nor had the power to hurt someone else. I would sit there for hours dangling my legs off out into the darkness until my time came. People would wonder why I would want to spend the last bit on my own, but its through myself that I would have got to that place and I would take that time to appreciate everything and everyone silently in the darkness.

Life is so short, too short and I know I always say it but you never know what is around the corner. Hollywood lives are glamorous mine certainly isn't a journalist who struggles to do any 9-5 job without running out screaming. I am blessed not through the amount of money I have filling my pockets, but by the friends and family I have creating the most priceless memories. I am richer than most in that sense, however if only this paid the bills!


Hollywood's not my idea of brilliance either.

I could feel the tiny life inside of me, I knew time was running out.

13th March 1992

Last night I sat with my mum, who isn't just my mum but my best friend and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. We read through her diaries. Before this moment I thought I knew her better than anyone sometimes even better than herself but through these pages of heart felt entries I learnt so much more and that we are even more alike than I ever could have imagined.

It was as if I had stood into her life and was hiding behind the wings as I saw it all unfold. In the pages that I was about to read it described her life as being up in the air just a few days before she gave birth to me.

My grandfather was dying and it was horrific, everyone's hopes were being raised and then dashed again as nobody knew if he was going to make it through another night, I saw the love that my mother had for my father who's life was changing forever and I learnt more and more about a man that I never got to meet.

He sounded amazing, a true fighter, I hope I have his strength and the love that he had for his family. The diary entries were amazing I can see why I love to write so much like it does with me it has too helped my mum through nearly every experience.

I have always loved and respected her as a woman, I aspire to be as amazing as she is, but I now have an even higher respect for her as my mother who looked after me and cherished me from the moment she knew I was growing inside of her.

To this day it hurts me that I never got to meet my grandfather as I think if he was still around my dad would have always been in my life and that would have made a huge difference every little girl needs her dad. I was just lucky to have such an amazing mum to make me into the person that I stand today.

Life is unpredictable at the best of times and as they say where there is life there is also death and this couldn't be more true. 2 days before I was born my grandfather passed away after putting up the bravest fight of his life. I will never truly know him but through last night I feel like I know him more and more.

I'm scared i'll be torn apart by a wolf who masks a familiar name on a birthday card.

It's just a young heat confusing my mind.

Is it too much to ask that we could live in a world where people care?

We learn from the ones we hate the most so they say.

There are many things I do not believe in;

I do not believe that money should be the root of anyones true happiness.

I do not believe that monsters exsist in fairytales, they are all too real in this world.

I do not believe that anyone should act in a way that destroys someone's day.

I do not believe in hatred, this is a simple waste of time.

I do not believe that we should place our happiness in some strangers hands, you have to learn what makes yourself happy first.

I do not believe in glossy magazines that only leave us with un reachable targets and comparrisons.

I do not believe blood is thicker than water, family come and go too.

I do not believe we are alone.

I do not believe death is a forever goodbye, its just a simple "See you later"

I do not believe we should live lives ruled by people that will never matter, nor make a difference.

I do not believe in certain individuals they have never earnt this from me.

I do not believe in life being difficult all of the time, there are great moments and unforgettable days, these are what we must focus on.

I do not believe in lying, no matter how bad the truth is a lie will always be far worse.

I do not believe in regrets just love.

I do not believe in anything that makes you cry being a bad thing, we are humans not robots we are meant to cry just as we are meant to laugh.

I do not believe in someone who can't see further than themselves.

Though this list could go on and on, its so important in life to acknowledge the good and bad things, the things we could live everyday without and the things, people that we couldn't live a second without having them in our lives.

Life is precious.
Life is short.
Life is exactly what you make of it.

Live today, explore tomorrow

Living today, can change tomorrow.

Some of us have dreams, dreams that we can follow and make a reality, there are some of us that do this, that chase what we believe in until we fall off the end of the world with it. I am lucky enough to know a determined individual who is doing just that.


Carmel Roche is travelling to Indonesia later this year for six weeks, to research how the coral reefs are adapted to today's extreme environments. The research that's gathered will help Carmel complete her third year in Keele University and be used in her final thesis.

Being a qualified open water diver, Carmel will be scuba diving to explore the reef which is a strenuous task in every aspect both physically and mentally.

I am incredibly proud to know such a determined individual, and through this I hope it will raise more awareness for what she is about to do. The trip is funded independently by Carmel and help to secure more funds for the flights, diving equipment and everything else needed for her journey to Indonesia is very much needed and appreciated.

If anyone wishes to donate to Carmel's fund and too make a difference then please have a look at her fund raising page. After all if your not out there chasing your dreams you can help Carmel reach hers.

carmelfundraising.blogspot.co.uk

Carmel/fundraising.blogspot.co.uk