I could feel the tiny life inside of me, I knew time was running out.

13th March 1992

Last night I sat with my mum, who isn't just my mum but my best friend and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. We read through her diaries. Before this moment I thought I knew her better than anyone sometimes even better than herself but through these pages of heart felt entries I learnt so much more and that we are even more alike than I ever could have imagined.

It was as if I had stood into her life and was hiding behind the wings as I saw it all unfold. In the pages that I was about to read it described her life as being up in the air just a few days before she gave birth to me.

My grandfather was dying and it was horrific, everyone's hopes were being raised and then dashed again as nobody knew if he was going to make it through another night, I saw the love that my mother had for my father who's life was changing forever and I learnt more and more about a man that I never got to meet.

He sounded amazing, a true fighter, I hope I have his strength and the love that he had for his family. The diary entries were amazing I can see why I love to write so much like it does with me it has too helped my mum through nearly every experience.

I have always loved and respected her as a woman, I aspire to be as amazing as she is, but I now have an even higher respect for her as my mother who looked after me and cherished me from the moment she knew I was growing inside of her.

To this day it hurts me that I never got to meet my grandfather as I think if he was still around my dad would have always been in my life and that would have made a huge difference every little girl needs her dad. I was just lucky to have such an amazing mum to make me into the person that I stand today.

Life is unpredictable at the best of times and as they say where there is life there is also death and this couldn't be more true. 2 days before I was born my grandfather passed away after putting up the bravest fight of his life. I will never truly know him but through last night I feel like I know him more and more.