http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwu2HvXRAGk
Tuesday 25 September 2012
We accept the love we think we deserve.
We all have demons, pesky skeletons in those closets of ours that no matter how many times we try we can't seem to get them to leave. We carry feelings and doubts and bad memories that people have given us along the way and add these to any future relationships we go on to create. If someone was to call you "ugly" everyday for the rest of your life at first you may be taken a back and upset by it, but the next time they say it you'll be half expecting it I mean they have already said it once, and then the times after that it will become as normal as saying hello to someone in the street. We as people seem to believe all of the bad, the negative comments that we have had thrown at us over the years and carry them like the heaviest rucksack known to man! I think this comes hand in hand with the above statement. If someone truly cares about us we will have that amazing, cannot live without you kind of love and if they don't we simply learn to accept and be grateful for anything we are given be it positive or negative. Its hard to walk away from something you have nurtured and cared for for so long but sometimes you have to go I can't I have to learn how to love myself a little bit first and when you do move forward throw away that rucksack that you have carried with you for far too long and truly accept the love that you do deserve and let it be as perfect as you had always hoped it to be.
Sometimes that's just it.
Life is crazy.
One moment we are swimming in the shallow end our feet can touch the bottom, we know exactly what to do, the exits are easy to get to and every thing's as simple and known as it was the minute we got in, but we still can't help but wonder what it would be like to completely immerse ourselves in the deep end, dive in whilst no-one is looking and simply hope that after the rush we shall bob back up to the top with a new sense of life for those few moments.
I can't help that I live my life this way, if somebody says "Jess, don't touch that!"
I have to it will be the first thing that I have to do, just to see if they are right just to see what will happen regardless of the consequences. Life in the shallow end is okay, its safe and you can paddle around without any fear but does this count as really living? Surely the temptation of something new is all too overwhelming to stick with your feet stuck to the bottom for any longer?!
I am going to have to try it.
Here's hoping.
One moment we are swimming in the shallow end our feet can touch the bottom, we know exactly what to do, the exits are easy to get to and every thing's as simple and known as it was the minute we got in, but we still can't help but wonder what it would be like to completely immerse ourselves in the deep end, dive in whilst no-one is looking and simply hope that after the rush we shall bob back up to the top with a new sense of life for those few moments.
I can't help that I live my life this way, if somebody says "Jess, don't touch that!"
I have to it will be the first thing that I have to do, just to see if they are right just to see what will happen regardless of the consequences. Life in the shallow end is okay, its safe and you can paddle around without any fear but does this count as really living? Surely the temptation of something new is all too overwhelming to stick with your feet stuck to the bottom for any longer?!
I am going to have to try it.
Here's hoping.
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